Dear diary

How does a relationship work?

I’ve been in a few relationships in my *cough* nearly twenty years *cough*

However, the one I’m currently in has made me completely happy and it’s going extremely well.

I decided to tell you more honest things about me and my life, and thankfully my boyfriend was excited for this too! So, here are some questions about trusting someone before/whilst dating them!

(Thank you to for the questions & to my boyfriend who has also answered these questions from his perspective)

1) how well do you know him/her?

2) can you trust him/her with your secrets?

3) are you comfortable together when you’re​ alone?

4) do you believe the person will/has changed you?

5) are you attracted to their heart and character?

6) do you appreciate them for who they are right now?

7) how do they treat the other people they love?

8) does your future match?

For the record, I will be answering with an S and my boyfriend will answer with a E.


S – well, my boyfriend and I knew one another through friends for about a year, we knew a lot about one anothers lives but nothing really personal? We really got to know one another personally whilst dating.

E – she was someone that I feel I understand completely so when somrthing is upsetting her, I will know.  I keep learning new things about her everyday which help me know her better than anyone else.


S – I can trust him with secrets about big things, as well as small things. And the best part is he is an awful liar, so I know if he’s accidentally let something slip.

E – I have never been able to trust anyone with any of my secrets but she is the only person that I tell every single secret too. Plus she very blunt so nothing is kept a secret and I love her for it.


S – I love being alone with him, it’s become a safe place for me.

E – She is the only person in the that I want to be alone with as I never feel lonely when she’s there.


S – I honestly believe he has made me more confident and I don’t dislike any changes he has made. He’s also never forced me to change.

E – I feel that she has made me the man I am today. Before I started dating her I was an immature boy who didn’t know what he wanted or where he was going in life. All the changes that I have made are the ones I was too afraid to make myself.


S – I am very attracted to him and his personality, he’s honestly very gorgeous and has a beautiful heart, even if he wasn’t always the best person to people, he has really changed for the better.

E – She has a very kind and forgiving heart which thankfully opposes mine and is slowly changing me in an amazing way. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met and there is nothing more that I love than her weird and wonderful sense of humour and personality.


S – I love who he is right now, I’ve never met anyone like him.

E – She is the most amazing person I have ever met and there is nothing about her that I would change.


S – He loves his family in his own way, he’s absolutely mad. Though I now realise when he loves someone he’s very very passionate about them.

E –  She looks after everyone that is close to her that she loves even though they might not treat her the best she loves them anyway and does everything for them.


S – The funny thing is the first question I’ll ask anyone when I’m dating someone is do you want to get married and have kids? And he may of freaked out at first, but he did eventually tell me, yes to both and nine months later I’m still with him. Going strong.

E –  When we first started dating S, I was afraid to tell her about what I wanted in the future but the more I opened up to her about it, the more I found that the matched perfectly together. Showing me that we can last forever.

Minus the cheese, our biggest advice on if you’re scared of a new relationship, just be honest and give it time. Please don’t be scared of opening up to someone.

Be happy.

Wishing love to you all.

Soph x


Dear diary,

I realised I started this open online diary to talk openly about my mental illness and life advice, hopefully helping someone out there that need to know someone else has/is going through the same issues.

So I’ve done something I never thought I’d do, and quite honestly it made me anxious doing this, but I did it in the hope to help at least one person.

I googled “what/when/why/where/who anxiety” and I’ve now answered the most googled question! And if you have anxiety I recommend you do the exact same thing to hopefully cause a chain reaction to help others.

Here’s why. 

1) why anxiety develops?

Personally, nothing developed my anxiety, I think I’ve always had a problem with myself. My anxiety has always been apart of me and it’s something as far back as I can remember, but I suppose my first proper panic attack happened when my nan passed away – I’m not going into it as I’ve already talked about it. 

2) why anxiety is good?

I suppose in a way, it’s brought me closer to people who also have anxiety, it gave me a whole new understaning as to why people can become closed off and that by going through the same things as that person you have that ability to empathize, it’s made me who I am today (cheesy cliche, but it’s true).

3) why anxiety at night?

I’m assuming this is meant to be why does anxiety occur mostly at night? I think this to me is because when its night and you try to sleep you have so much time to think and over think anything and everything you’ve done that day and quite honestly things you’ve done seven years ago.

 I’m hoping this helps someone out there. 

My thoughts are with you.


Dear Diary

Quite honestly, I’m realising now how scary life can be if you put yourself out there. I have literally been writing this blog for years and though it wasn’t always online, I have been writing in journals since I can remember. However, ever since I have been putting up my life on here, I feel as if I should tell you more.

I am turning twenty in three weeks and four days. I am currently dating an English man. I am obsessed with make-up and the art form that it is. I also have an obsessive personality.

And quite honestly, I feel like I need to be completely honest with you about something I care about. Film and television.

I know it can sound awfully weird and slightly geeky. But, that’s what I do.

So from now on, every now and again on this blog you can expect more about film and television.

Have an amazing day & night.