I can’t even begin to explain how messed up this year has been.
This year started well, surrounded by friends, family and loved ones.
We had the snow storm of the century! Cancelling half my classes in uni and making travelling home nearly impossible!
I threw my first baby shower! It wasn’t perfect, but a lot of laughs were shared.
As the year went on, it got better – I graduated and survived university.
This year, my family got extended, my sister had her baby – she was beautiful, she still is beautiful.
My boyfriend turned 21 and we celebrated with love and laughter.
The first half of this year, was truly amazing. Something I never wish to forget.
Unfortunately, with ups comes downs.
I lost a family member. It was one of the hardest experiences of my life. It was so cruel and painful, it brought me back down. I’ve lost people before – but never like this. My cousin was an amazing, intelligent and beautiful person, who was in too much pain to keep going. Cancer is a bitch.
She remains thought of. She remains loved. She will always be remembered.
A few days later, I turned 21.
It was quite difficult, people say that turning 21 is supposed to be a birthday to remember – the sad thing was, I didn’t want to remember it.
I had amazing friends, who got me through the difficult time, they forced me to get out of bed and try my very best to be happy.
It was what I needed.
I couldn’t be more grateful for them.
As time went on I was walking on thin ice, if one tiny thing went wrong I seemed to break the ice and sink – it’s been frustrating to say the least.
My anxiety has hurt me this year, in ways it hasn’t for a long time.
I felt lonely and scared, even though I had everyone around me.
This year, I had hit rock bottom again.
The only thing is, now that I’m older and I know that this isn’t the end yet, I am able to get up a little better than before.
Once you’ve hit rock bottom, the only way is up.
I got a job – something I was terrified would never happen.
I made new friends who made me laugh and helped save me through the new experience when I felt scared.
I got to celebrate my boyfriend and I’s two year anniversary, it was beautiful.
I also got to celebrate Christmas with my family and my boyfriend. I got to be with everyone I loved.
I now get to spend the end of 2018 with my boyfriend and his family.
It’s been a messed up year, I can’t wait to start a hopefully better 2019.
This year was a mixture of emotions, I will say I’m happy it’s ending, although a lot of good things happened, the bad ended up hurting the good.
I can’t wait to see what the next year holds.
I wish you the best year, happy new year.