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Dear you,

I hate writers block.
I hate writers block.
I hate writers block.
I hate writers block.

Quite honestly, I never planned to make this blog something I wanted to write in weekly – just more when I wanted to. However, I get so physically frustrated when I want to write down how I’m feeling and just can’t get it down. I hate writers block.

I want to tell you I’ve found a way of beating my writers block, but I just haven’t. I hate writers block.

So please if you have a way of beating writers block, tell me, because if you didn’t know – I hate writers block.

help me,

Sophie.

Dear you,

Before I talk to you on here I do want to disclaim these views are mine and I would like to say if you do not agree with me that is completely fine!

My boyfriend recently got a new job after a while of not having one and decided to surprise me with the Jeffree Star Androgyny palette (I’m so blumming lucky!)

Okay so the retail price of this palette is £40.00 on Beautybay.com and though that may seem pricey for an eye shadow palette but you do get a lot of product for your money.

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(oh , please ignore my chipped nail varnish!)

I have other Jeffree Star products including several velour liquid lipstick shades (which I’m not going to lie – I love them.) The ones I have are Sagittarius, Unicorn Blood, Checkmate, Androgyny and No Tea, No Shade! IF you’d like to hear about my love for those products please feel free to let me know! (I might just do it anyway! hehe) 

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(Also yep, I cannot do make-up swatches! Let that be known, I am definitely not a beauty guru!)

I also own one of Jeffree’s many highlighters – Lavender Snow.

swatch

BLINDING, I KNOW!

But once again, not what we were talking about!

Anyway, I have heard an awful lot of mixed reviews on Jeffree’s palettes, and I’ve wanted one since the first palette came out. Unfortunately I do not have the first palette but my friend who has recently started her blog has – and maybe she can do a review on that palette! (sorry Moll!) Be sure to check her out!

So, the first thing I noticed about the palette was the overall appearance of it. It is of course bright pink with gold writing. The detailing of this palette is beautiful and really eye-catching.

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The amazing thing is about this palette is that the ten shades in this palette are vegan and cruelty free, which is an amazing thing really when you think that this brand is completely independent. And though Jeffree has several issues with his past and people still judge him – I don’t – and once again, these are my views; you are more than entitled to your own, but these are mine.

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Okay to start there are ten shades in here from top left to bottom right are: Frosting, Safe Word, Charm, Deja Vu, Dominatrix, Androgyny, Fetish, Military, Poison and Swallow. These shades are Jeffree’s form of a “neutral palette”, and though that might seem mad to some of you – I adore each shade in this palette.

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AGAIN! I am not a beauty guru and my swatches are sort of well, awful. BUT HEY-HO!

I will now talk about each shade in order of swatch.

Frosting is a gold shimmer shade and is not chunky in the slightest – which is what I get concerned with when it comes to shimmer shades, but honestly, it is so pigmented and I adore it! It’s beautiful.

Safe Word is a lovely neutral transition shade, it is super creamy and pigmented, and what I love most about it is that it’s not too harsh, it really is the perfect transition shade. It does take a bit of blending, but it blends like butter.

Charm is a beautiful orange shade that is so pigmented and creamy, it glides on so easily! This shade gives me life! It’s not chalky at all, it’s really lovely and quite honestly has so many ways to wear it on the eye.

Deja Vu is the other shimmer shade in the palette, and quite honestly is one of my absolute favourite shades in the palette. It’s a gorgeous warm tone bronze with some shimmer to it. (AND not to toot my own horn, but it swatches the best).

Dominatrix is another warm tone brown and one of the most neutral mattes in the palette. Dominatrix is a lovely chocolate-brown colour really helps define the crease. It’s so pigmented and creamy, just a beautiful colour.

 Androgyny as the palette is named is a muted purple that honestly deserves the title of the palette, as well as owning the Androgyny liquid lip shade – it is honestly such a gorgeous purple, and it’s not chalky at all! I am obsessed!

Fetish is actually my absolute favourite colour in the palette. It’s a deep dark red mixed with tones of almost purple (which isn’t visible on the lid), but honestly the colour is gorgeous, it’s almost fully matte but still does have a small tints of shimmer within it.

Military is an off green, almost a muted kiwi colour. It’s not overly pigmented which is the best for green shades, especially because otherwise it would slightly stain the skin, but it is a beautiful green colour that looks amazing on the lid. Also, the shade is one of the nicest to blend! It’s amazing!

Poison is a gorgeous turquoise blue, and though I don’t wear blue shades on my eyes this and the next shade is making me want to try to fool around with the blue shades. It’s such a creamy shade and honestly so light weight. Truly a lovely eye shadow!

The final shadow in the palette is Swallow, a gorgeous muted dark blue! It almost border lines on a navy blue – it is entirely matte and honestly so gorgeous and is so amazingly bendable! It really is a beautiful shade.

Overall, I’d give the palette a solid 10/10! I LOVE it! And would honestly recommend you buy it! It is a bit pricey, but it’s such a lovely palette!

And no, I am not a beauty blogger, and no I in no way knows how to put makeup on professionally! BUT, I like how I do my makeup, and the look I created with this palette, the Lavender Snow highlighter and obviously the Androgyny liquid lip!

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ANYWAYS, I know this is a little different to what I normally write, and honestly this was so cool to show you just some of the things I am interested in!

I hope you enjoyed this & again, a massive thank you to my boyfriend for buying me the Androgyny palette!

speak soon!

Sophie x

Dear Diary,

I’m enjoying giving you a more real insight into my life.
And looking back at old paper diaries, I loved listing my favourite songs, artists, albums.
And recently, I have been watching a certain YouTuber, who has a second channel who lists her twenty favourite songs for *insert band/artist here*. (Channel) And now I want to write to you about some of my favourite music.

So I thought I’d start with telling you this: I love a lot of different styles of music. I don’t just listen to one genre of music.

However, I do have a favourite male & female artist and a favourite band.

I would like to start you with my twenty favourite All Time Low songs. (Band).

I would like to advertise that this is not a plug for the band or anything like that, I would also like to say this is my opinion only!

20. That Girl/ from the album Dirty Work. This is such a bop. I can’t believe this is in my top twenty, but I’ll always listen to it when I’ve got my songs on shuffle. It never fails to put a smile on my face and makes me dance along. It’s a great song.

19. Six Feet Under the Stars / I’m not going to lie to you, I adore this song, it’s such a bop. Emma Blackery has me obsessed with the word bop. But that it was it is. It’s such a great song to just relax listening to. It’s definitely a song I could listen to over and over again.

18. Do You Want Me (Dead)? / This song is a great bop, it just makes you want to sing out loud! It’s a perfect song to just belt out loud on a road trip in my eyes. (and I do!)

17. A Daydream Away / One of my favourite songs to date, even though it’s not as close to the top five as some of my friends probably thought it would be, I love thing song but find I have to be in ‘that’ mood to listen to it, though it is a blood great song!

16. Sick Little Games / I will never get sick of this song, I love it so much! However, I swear every time I listen to this song it makes me want to listen to Break Your Little Heart straight after! I don’t know – maybe in my head they’re one giant song, but I love them both so much! They’re just great!

15. Break Your Little Heart / Basically, read 16! I feel the exact same about this song as I do about Sick Little Games. They just go hand in hand! AMAZING songs!

14. For Baltimore / This song it absolutely beautiful, it’s known this song is about Alex’s and the boys home town, it makes me feel proud knowing that Alex’s grandma is actually Welsh! (He told us at a meet up, very fun times!)

13. Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass / A festive classic, and a song every Christmas time I feel the need to blast out loud everywhere I am. The song never gets old, every Christmas this song is my number one!

12. Backseat Serenade / This song is just a bop, like you cannot help but belt this song out when you listen to it! You’ve got to love Backseat Serenade!

11. Too Much / This is my go to song when I don’t know what song I want to listen to! However, every time I listen to this song it just makes me calm.

10. Dark Side of Your Room / I was so scared when the new album came out because other bands I had loved also had albums out that year weren’t as good and I thought maybe it was just a bad year for my music taste! Then this album came out and I was ecstatic! An amazing album!

9. Somewhere in Neverland / This is one of my go to romance songs, this song just never fails to make me happy and a little bit gushy! This is actually the first song I showed my boyfriend by All Time Low. Just an overall perfect song.

8. Cinderblock Garden / This is the type of song you cannot not replay ten times over and over! This song is just so beautiful that I don’t know how you can’t replay it! I love this song so so so much!

7. The Reckless and the Brave / This song is an amazing, the beat and lyrics just make the perfect song! I love this song, it just gives you the best feeling when you sing it and the lyrics just make you feel so inspired.

6. Kids in The Dark / When this song came out, I WAS OBSESSED. I loveeed every song on this album, BUT this was a single and it made me so excited for the new album! Plus, this was my first time meeting them when this album came out!

5. Weightless / The All Time Low famous song, I’m pretty sure most people have heard of this song or has listened to this song! I love Weightless, it was my high school jam (cringe).

4. I Feel like Dancin’ / ABSOLUTE banger, this song actually makes me sing out loud and actually laugh out loud at the music video for it! GO WATCH IT! It’s just a great bop!

3. Remembering Sunday / I remember the first time I listened to this song I nearly cried. It just made me feel so calm in a weird way? But yep, I absolutely love this song!

2. Missing you / Absolutely perfect song, when I first heard the Future Hearts album I fell in love with the song. It is so gorgeous to me and I am never afraid to just dance along and sing (more like shout) out loud!

  1. Therapy / This has been one of my favourite All Time Low songs since I can remember, All Time Low has always been a big part of my life, and when Therapy came out my heart melted. It’s such a deep song with real meaning. A truly beautiful song.

Honestly, I’ve had the luck of meeting my favourite band and loving each moment of it. (instagram). They were and still are some of my most favourite memories.

This has been one of my favourite blog posts, I absolutely loved writing about All Time Low. I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I loved writing.

Sophie x

Dear you,

Sometimes we need to really remember everything we see isn’t necessarily reality.

This week I’ve lost someone and though I did not know them personally I knew them through music.

I love all different genres of music.

However, more than anything now I hope you are safe. I hope you are okay and please if you are scared of your inner thoughts – don’t think you’re stupid or alone.

You are not alone.

This is real.

Depression is nothing to be joked about.

Be safe,

Sophie x

Dear you,

GUYS, I’ve not forgotten you, I’ve missed you loads but I’m currently writing one blog post that means a LOT to me.
So, until then I’m giving MY honest opinion on something else I care about, something close to my heart and something that recently ended.

RUPAULS-DRAG-RACE

I am OBSESSED with Rupaul’s Drag Race! LIVING HUNTY *cough* sorry.

ANYWAY, I have been a big fan of the show for a while now and want to tell you my top 10 FAVOURITE drag queens! No tea, no shade to the other queens who didn’t make this list, these are my opinions!

Fair warning lovelies, there may be a spoiler or two a head!

10. Shangela Laquifa Wadley, Miss Shangela was on two seasons of Drag race, and graced us with her funny attitude and her many many ‘Halleloo’.

09. Ginger Minj, Ginger was a big gurl queen, and she stole my heart, she was so funny and I loved her from the moment she walked in!

08. Roxxxy Andrews, I’m not joking when I tell you this queen is here for one main reason! Her lip sync with for her life with Miss Alyssa Edwards! This girl lip synced to Whip my hair by Willow Smith and IT WAS TURNT. I LOVED IT. Still to this day, one of my favourite lip syncs!

07. Jinkx Monsoon, Jinkx is one of my favourite drag queens on the show for the main reason, she’s craaaazy gurl. She has so much fun with everything she does and honestly, I loved her.

06. Detox, Detox was and I think still is one of the most beautiful queens that has graced our screens! I love her and she hits number six on my list is for her DROP DEAD perfect look on the reunion special.

05. Chad Michaels, The queen who basically embodied Cher! I was living for her snatch game! She absolutely killed it, and honestly, something else I adore about Chad is she can read someone to filth!

04. Jujubee, SHE IS EVERYTHING. Her friendship with Raven is literally the most adorable thing to exist. She also knows how to read a queen to an inch of her life and she is just overall so BEA-U-TIFUL to me!

03. Raven, I LOVE RAVEN. I ADORE her. Raven is one of the first queens who when she walked in I liked her from day one. She is so beautiful, kind and absolutely hysterical! Raven actually makes me cry laugh and personally I think she was robbed, on MORE than one occasion, but that might just be me. I love Raven, she is FIERCE.

02. Latrice Royale, Is one of the funniest queens to grace our screens. I loved everything she did on screen, she is absolutely beautiful and the perfect definition of Miss Congeniality, she was beauty, she served face and she always serves GREAT sass! She will always be in my heart.

01. Willam, I know people are going to be shocked, but I LOVE Willam. I knew Willam from before drag race (OF COURSE, I must own a television)! I cannot cope with how much Willam makes me laugh. I love her on YouTube, on the show and I’m not going to lie I reaaaaally want Willam to be on All Stars!

Thank you for putting up with my weird opinions! In case you wanted to know people I struggled not putting on the list were:
Sharon Needles  Ivy Winters Bianca Del Rio & of course, RAJA!

So obviously they all get special mention!

I LOVE Drag race and DO NOT want to wait another year! UGH! BRING ME ALL STARS SEASON 3!

ANYWAYS

Hope your day isn’t a drag….

Sophie x

Dear diary

How does a relationship work?

I’ve been in a few relationships in my *cough* nearly twenty years *cough*

However, the one I’m currently in has made me completely happy and it’s going extremely well.

I decided to tell you more honest things about me and my life, and thankfully my boyfriend was excited for this too! So, here are some questions about trusting someone before/whilst dating them!

(Thank you to huffpost.com for the questions & to my boyfriend who has also answered these questions from his perspective)

1) how well do you know him/her?

2) can you trust him/her with your secrets?

3) are you comfortable together when you’re​ alone?

4) do you believe the person will/has changed you?

5) are you attracted to their heart and character?

6) do you appreciate them for who they are right now?

7) how do they treat the other people they love?

8) does your future match?

For the record, I will be answering with an S and my boyfriend will answer with a E.

1)

S – well, my boyfriend and I knew one another through friends for about a year, we knew a lot about one anothers lives but nothing really personal? We really got to know one another personally whilst dating.

E – she was someone that I feel I understand completely so when somrthing is upsetting her, I will know.  I keep learning new things about her everyday which help me know her better than anyone else.

2) 

S – I can trust him with secrets about big things, as well as small things. And the best part is he is an awful liar, so I know if he’s accidentally let something slip.

E – I have never been able to trust anyone with any of my secrets but she is the only person that I tell every single secret too. Plus she very blunt so nothing is kept a secret and I love her for it.

3) 

S – I love being alone with him, it’s become a safe place for me.

E – She is the only person in the that I want to be alone with as I never feel lonely when she’s there.

4) 

S – I honestly believe he has made me more confident and I don’t dislike any changes he has made. He’s also never forced me to change.

E – I feel that she has made me the man I am today. Before I started dating her I was an immature boy who didn’t know what he wanted or where he was going in life. All the changes that I have made are the ones I was too afraid to make myself.

5)

S – I am very attracted to him and his personality, he’s honestly very gorgeous and has a beautiful heart, even if he wasn’t always the best person to people, he has really changed for the better.

E – She has a very kind and forgiving heart which thankfully opposes mine and is slowly changing me in an amazing way. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met and there is nothing more that I love than her weird and wonderful sense of humour and personality.

6) 

S – I love who he is right now, I’ve never met anyone like him.

E – She is the most amazing person I have ever met and there is nothing about her that I would change.

7) 

S – He loves his family in his own way, he’s absolutely mad. Though I now realise when he loves someone he’s very very passionate about them.

E –  She looks after everyone that is close to her that she loves even though they might not treat her the best she loves them anyway and does everything for them.

8) 

S – The funny thing is the first question I’ll ask anyone when I’m dating someone is do you want to get married and have kids? And he may of freaked out at first, but he did eventually tell me, yes to both and nine months later I’m still with him. Going strong.

E –  When we first started dating S, I was afraid to tell her about what I wanted in the future but the more I opened up to her about it, the more I found that the matched perfectly together. Showing me that we can last forever.

Minus the cheese, our biggest advice on if you’re scared of a new relationship, just be honest and give it time. Please don’t be scared of opening up to someone.

Be happy.

Wishing love to you all.

Soph x

Dear diary,

I realised I started this open online diary to talk openly about my mental illness and life advice, hopefully helping someone out there that need to know someone else has/is going through the same issues.

So I’ve done something I never thought I’d do, and quite honestly it made me anxious doing this, but I did it in the hope to help at least one person.

I googled “what/when/why/where/who anxiety” and I’ve now answered the most googled question! And if you have anxiety I recommend you do the exact same thing to hopefully cause a chain reaction to help others.

Here’s why. 

1) why anxiety develops?

Personally, nothing developed my anxiety, I think I’ve always had a problem with myself. My anxiety has always been apart of me and it’s something as far back as I can remember, but I suppose my first proper panic attack happened when my nan passed away – I’m not going into it as I’ve already talked about it. 

2) why anxiety is good?

I suppose in a way, it’s brought me closer to people who also have anxiety, it gave me a whole new understaning as to why people can become closed off and that by going through the same things as that person you have that ability to empathize, it’s made me who I am today (cheesy cliche, but it’s true).

3) why anxiety at night?

I’m assuming this is meant to be why does anxiety occur mostly at night? I think this to me is because when its night and you try to sleep you have so much time to think and over think anything and everything you’ve done that day and quite honestly things you’ve done seven years ago.

 I’m hoping this helps someone out there. 

My thoughts are with you.

Sophie